Tag: parenting

Categories
changes Constructive thinking life mentality and mental health

Why Do you do it ?

Based on all things people that people know or think they know what we do. The question will be why do you do it ??? Why do you do what you do ?

See the first answer from alot of people they will aim to go for love, I love what I do that’s why I do it.  This is an answer but it’s not very heavy to the intensity of the question asked.. 

Love is a feeling , feelings are best felt and not explained. So you can’t do something just because you feel it, there is more to that than  just love. By the way we accredit stupid things out of love, when someone does something stupid the common answer is  s/he did out of love ..

So in search of answers let’s ask ourselves this can we do something that we have never seen it before, larger portion is a no,  where we are, the environment will dictate what we do, because the environment plays a bigger portion into forcing us to do what we do.

In my neighbourhood I Live next to a couple actually were once a couple and were blessed a kid named X. They were happy at first and they were always in touch with us, a matter of fact we before moving to the place, the offered a portion of land inorder for as to make room for the construction materials

Also they were so generous a matter of facts some materials we used were stored at their spot. Time went on and we had this environment that we spend time with X play and fool around all these because the environment was fine

But then came dark times ( of course every good story must have a twist.) The father of X became a drunkard. I don’t know if its the movie drunkard master that gave him vibe but I guess the environment that he positioned himself to got him an alcohol addict..

After the house was done, wanted to know where the couple were, to find that the father sent away his wife and the kid had to dropout of school so he could take care of his siblings.

The point is that his environment changed and what he does is because of his environment..

Question: Why do you do ?
Me: Do what ??
Them: community stuff and all that?.
Me: No apparent reason…

But to be honest, I do that because I’m scared, scared of the fact that no one else can understand what I feel and see,  this is because of feelings are felt differently and nobody knows what I feel even if I tell them what I feel .

I’m scared that if I don’t fix the environment then my kids or their kids will live in a portion that I failed to create, a portion  I failed to correct, I do that because I’m scared of what I see the role that a changed environment has to the development of anything, to a change that has to be seen.

So I do what I do not out of love but to protect what I love and will come to love for them to find a smooth environment that won’t help them have to change inorder to survive…

Bless up
Emitty

Categories
life season

Grieve

(To all soldiers rested after fighting a great war called life, we pray in one form and firm belief that you rest peacefully and the ways that you have shown us through the way you have lived, we shall live in accordance and just as the way you’ve shown it to us..)

Is it safe to say we differ interms of how we handle things? Whether it’s a good thing or bad thing we must differ.

Why? Simply is because feelings are felt and its just a state that we clearly have to differ in how we react.

A person being sad, or crying or even laughing in a grieving season that doesn’t mean the one who is laughing is not grieving. Or the one crying is the one with the most loss. Or the one sad is the neutrality.

As a fact, before any person can show emotion its by default interpreted by the brain and then  the outward expression is given. So sad news can come and a positive energy.

A person laughing its doesn’t mean s/he doesn’t feel the grieve but maybe the interpretation has brought some good memories worthy to be remembered and s/he smiles because it means they once enjoyed the moment.

A person can also cry because the interpretation has come with the memory is hard to replace the void created or the source of happiness is gone and it will take time to heal.

Same as all other things in life, we have to agree that we differ in interpretation, and hence we should stop comparison against each other, and just be ourselves .

In remembrance
Paschal Otto Bundala & other rested soldiers
(1974 – 2022)

Signed Emitty.

Categories
changes Constructive thinking life mentality and mental health Swahili Episodes

Life, Love, Levels

Life is too short, and we have to live it to the fullest so how do we define Life itself and then how do we fight to have a balance. How do we live to the fullest?

Life to some is more of people, many people think that life is a tendency of considering happiness of others before their own, and some conclude by linking love and life.

To some life is all about them having a total brand by defining their standards so it makes them easier to them to avoid unnecessary things in the end so this group links with the levels

So after that we have establish its more of a linear relationship between life, love and levels.

Love is all about a complex topic, If you decide to explain it that’s a broad topic to cover, but for some people love is just a simple topic. But on the long run we have to  accept that love has no formulae at all.


If ego, selflessness and pride takes over any particular party in any type of relationship whether its a friends or lovers the boyfriend and girlfriend thing. Love is intertwined to levels because all these ego stuff is all principles or standards set by people and hence the portion of love intersect to levels.


Some notable quotes are as follows,
We fail to distinguish between love and pity, we are scared to have to isolate ourselves in toxic relationship but we hold on in the name of patience.

Kila mtu ana path ake no matter how similar you’re with someone else…(life against life)

We should place ground rules for friendship, lazima kuwepo na ground rules
Standards you put on having people kwa circle yako
(Life against levels)


In love, what do you really look for?
Is it peace, money,  stability,  security, friendship?


Wanawake wakiwa heartbroken wanaanza uza nguo status 😂😂😂😂




If we define what life is, love is, levels are we hope to have a best life ever, but that’s not it there are always problems.
Now question is how do you counteract your problems?

Some do panic, some take it easy knowing that problems are inevitable,  some take time to understand the bigger picture that comes with the problem

_” napata matatizo ila matatizo hayanipi matatizo … “_


Level yako unajua ww mwenyewe
Ila watu wanavyomuweka ni jinsi unavyojionyesha kwao.. ( What is your brand when your off the room, what do people say about you..?)

Love have no condition it come naturally
Upendo unaisha….

Take outs from
Nights shots
11th September


Unanswered questions
How do you identify toxic relationship?
How long should you hold on to a toxic relationship?
Why do men never let go of their ego easily ?

Categories
graduate's depression knowledge life mentality and mental health season

Chillax,Graduate (parte v)

Will start today’s article with my all time fave hindi movie namely three idiots, when the imperial college principle was addressing the students, he said life is a race, you either run or get squashed.

That statement applies to us but for today am not talking about running and talking about tolerance, life is a race yea but if you live in daressalaam you it’s not a race. This is because there will always be a traffic jam some place always.

Am not from there but we usually see and hear of traffic jams and so on. So in traffic jams is where I would like to set my theme for today’s title tolerance. In life is not all about running but it’s about maintaining pace between what you had, who you are and who you want to be.

See the same person has a past, present and future now tolerance is how you live now with learnt experience of the past making or creating a better future that’s tolerance.

Am not conflict with the one who said the past is past or bygones be bygones what am saying is that let all the past be a learnt experience which will help you make moves today that are not from scratch but from a reference that will help you reach point in the future.

In a traffic jam there is always a slow/gradual movement towards the common place, in life that’s how we are some people maybe going fast in the route and you going slow it doesn’t matter what matters is your tolerance to wait to finish because even after the jam what’s next is a smooth ride to compensate wasted time…

Learn to take time and tolerate what is thrown at you..

Bless up
Emitty..

Categories
graduate's depression knowledge mentality and mental health season

Chillax,Graduate (Parte IV)

With reference to simba vs yanga and also with reference to the article we wrote about reference. I would love to start of sending my greetings to all yanga fans for the win against the derby .

The Match has shown so much that I can use for the part IV the comparison. See there were some expectations that the team itself am talking about simba set or already had against yanga and yanga too. The people that are the fans had already set there expectations.

Am not a football fan to say much but I want you to move with something from the match, before the match there is always a H2H count. That is a head to head count against the two teams, and this is a comparison for what the teams have been lately prior to the match .

Comparison that’s what its today, we’ll talk about comparison and last article we saw there are three types of comparisons and I would love to state one by one today …

The comparison based on the walkthrough title graduate depression…

Comparison set by the society against you. We all have guardians or family members that always think that they know all about school and all about you, and also even our parents have always been there in the loop of knowing everything about school simply because they work hard to get us the fees. They hope that we are always aware of what they go through and the only way to repay them is by us having a good life .

See they set an expectation between what they know and what we are, it’s super hard breaking this and if we are to give much thinking to this it’s a problem, we all fight against secret battles.

There is this feeling that when you are some how young and your parents have a point to compare you with it maybe a sibling or a relative that’s either the same point of academics as you or ahead of you a little, there is that atmosphere of where you are always behind in terms of performance and they have set that you have to be either like them or better than them, that situation eats up alot of as in terms of academics

The way through it is that life is yours its either you create your standards or someone else creates them for you. It’s simple as that.

Comparison of you against somebody else, after seeing the set by our guardians to us then there is what we so call standards when we set standard we can place a person as a role model but that role model may be a potential help but also a problem because if the difference between them and you if positively then you advance but if not then you are in problem of comparing you against them..

If you’re pursuing academic or doing anything never set your goals to outrun or beat something against somebody else. Swahili saying ” mhuni afeli anachelewa tu kufaulu ” we are always just late to succeed but we never fail. That’s us life to us. After you’re done it may take time to win but never ever compare yourself from somebody else.

You may be running the same race but that’s not the guarantee you have to move with them every move.

We can’t move if we move by beef or comparison that’s the easiest life principle but we fail to understand that. Always be you never compare yourself to others…

Comparison of beliefs, this is my personal favourite you can outrun the comparison your guardians have placed against you, you can outrun your standards you place your self against people but its very hard to outrun your beliefs

The funny thing about beliefs is that you think them throughly then it becomes your routine through the manifestation of it in the outside. Now that’s not a bad thing.

It will be a bad thing when your standards are tested to a limit they need to be broken, when you set something inside your mind gives you a certain vibe but when you’re in a conflict of interest to fight it or to let it go, that eats you up. So always be careful of what standards you put for yourself..

Coming parte V: tolerance, how to fight against your own standards and how to balance as world claws it off on you?

Bless up
Emitty

Categories
Constructive thinking life mentality and mental health season

Pa…

Apart from today being Father’s Day, I had in me to write this article after watching “breakthrough” a movie about the powerful prayer of a parent.

Also I write this because of the nickname Baba Mzazi that I recently found myself been given.

Being a father or a Male parent is never easy neither being a mother but a father is a figure that has a different point of being viewed.

This article can’t be expressed only by a single person but since its my version. What scares me most about being a father is ?

I know time will reach and I’ll be a father, having kids is a fantastic dream but is also scary that what if the kids dont turn out the way you want? Our fathers or parents nurtured us to the way that we are right now, I’m who I’m now just because they dared to take care and nurture me through this road.

I was a kid back then and I know without a doubt that I was very stubborn growing up and reaching this level definitely I know I was stubborn. No need to be told I was. But they took care of me .

My greatest fear of becoming a father is will my kid keep my teachings, what I will tell him or her also what will I teach her or him? How can I protect my kids around this world of technology with everything you seek being available at my kid’s hand??

If this is your worries then welcome to the team, fathers to be… I haven’t figured the dad ship yet but what I know is that kids are always gonna learn from what they see their parent figure always do. How do I know that this is from me I’m here because I grabbed what my father was doing so the insecurities that comes from you taking care of the kids that you have or going to have all lies on the way you are around them.

” an apple doesn’t fall far from the apple tree.” You are your kids.

In the above statements I haven’t said that being a father is easy I just said it’s easy for kids learning from what they are exposed too.

Being a father is not a part time job or something that you do when you’re free but it’s always being there for the kid you have. Building up memories with them and in the end believing they are grownup enough to be the better version of you. So never teach a kid to be as you but better than you.

Cheers to dads in heaven
Cheers to dads in earth
Cheers to dads to be..
Happy fathers day

Bless up
Emitty

Categories
Constructive thinking knowledge life mentality and mental health

The 32 you, The 64 you

growing up is never been easy, am sure there a lot of memories you have while you were a kid some you proud of and some you don’t.

That version of tinny you just peeing in bed Everytime that you sleep, the angry you and the parenting lies. (if you sleep in the afternoon you’ll watch tv tomorrow afternoon, not knowing that tomorrow the same scenario continues)

Same applies to school stuff while we were growing up. Don’t end up class seven there are a lot of stuffs you need to know inorder to stand very well financially. so you’ll add up the ordinary level education as form one to form four. when you are done with it you’ll hear them saying add another and so for it goes up to when you get a degree and then you land a job.

landing a job is just as computers executing applications. so there are many operating system (os) but the common one is the windows which has gain it’s market since the early 90s now the version has two architecture that is the 32-bits and 64-bits

in observation apps with 32bits can run in 64bit but vice versa ain’t possible. it’s is the same as a flat screwdriver can open a star screw but star screwdriver can’t open up a flat type screw.

sometimes upgrading what skill you have will play a greater advantage to you, because you’ll be marketable in terms of you can decide for both opportunities that comes that are your level or way below your level.

having the abilities that exceeds the required option gives you room to attain posts that are a lower level than you and the level that you on…

so upgrade and keep on upgrading yourself so as to give your self a firm standing point..

Bless up
Emitty

Categories
changes Constructive thinking knowledge life season

Reference Theorem

You have seen a CV or written one yes ? if so then lets move together on this one.

Read a book and at the end pages you have seen the reference chapter. Yes i take it. Lets move on again!!.

Most of us have what we call models , role model, mentors, councillors and coaches. people that we seek advice and we guidance we term them as oracles or point of view to some real time event and situation.

Okay, while growing up i heard some kids and even adults been kept on check by the reference theorem.

Reference theorem; we can put it as the usage of a comparison or a guidance point. while growing up now our parents made us see and feel that all we can achieve is supposed to be as equivalent to some people who have advanced more than us a single step or more steps ahead of us.

Parents were heard saying you should be ashamed of yourself for doing the opposite of what they had wanted, “look at somebody (the reference) s/he has done a, b, c and d and s/he has a lot and been successful“.

Some of us have been affected with this and we live our whole life thinking we can’t go alone or be our own guide because all our lives have been threatened with other people’s success being rubbed on our Face.
(Angalia mtoto wa mama fulani unaona kasoma hichi kafaulu ).

I’m not here to say its bad to have a point of reference rather to state that; we have to be careful with how we throw ourselves out there towards our references.

I once said “lets live by lessons learnt
not by reference and examples”.

Sometimes we undermine the abilities we have by just minimizing our capabilities through overlooking at them we call references.

Live while understanding the lessons hidden in your struggles but not what somebody else did or does in the same struggles.”

We should have people of reference for learning purposes only. What I mean is that no problem is ever new, so the way people ahead of us have faced them but had a different manifestation from ours we should understand that they solved them differently, but never force what our paths to be as theirs.

Life is always a piece of everything you experience never let the piece that you pick from some point be the masterpiece of your story. Take it as a piece and not a masterpiece.

Never force your path on someone’s path. Love your struggles and they will loosen up for ya.

Bless Up
Emitty

Categories
Constructive thinking festivity life

PACKAGES & PARCELS

boxes and gifts wrapped

Ever received two packages or parcel of the same content ?? was the package packing the same one hundred percent ?

CASE ONE:
The way parcel and packages are packed. its a festive season and gifts are offered each parcel is tried to be covered as much as possible and hidden from a direct identification from the receiver of the gift..

CASE TWO:
The way receiver is anxiously awaiting for the package to be given to them. The package is well covered and sometimes we end up coming up with assumption of what is inside, but we never know whats inside…

CASE THREE:
The way we rip out the cover to reveal what’s is inside never care the packaging and the way the package was once a beautiful part of the package or gift .

Now in all the cases the first thing is that the package even if it was the same content was never and will never be 💯 percent identical this is one key factor to notice

Now parenting is a perfect illustration of the packaging and unwrapping of gifts..

To lay to rest of the three observation/cases . Here we come and see that ,

CASE ONE : THE HIDDEN FIGURE
I name it hidden figure because a child come as a gift and mostly talents and inborn gifts are hidden from the parents. no matter what how parents would like to their kids to be the won’t be able to know till the kid is born and started the process of growing ( thus why it resembles the stage of coming up with assumptions of what is inside the package)

CASE TWO: THE GET READY STAGE
named as the stage that the parents are already with the gift but cant yet open it up due to the timing, sometimes a gift is offered but the time is not yet to open it up.. This is the stage that the parents are waiting when will the kid be born. and here is where some assumption made earlier will be reduced to some simple and more clearer assumption ( its a boy or its a girl they are twins or not)

CASE THREE; THE RIPPING OF THE WRAPPER
The ripping of the cover that was covering the package is another case. ripping the cover many people just never care the cover ( unzipping your kids talent parents never care the packaging) they just remove the cover in order to just see the package and never knowing the ripping also needs carefulness …

All in all even if the process that parents nurturing a kid to reveal their inborn talent wont be the same its not up to the kids making comparisons between oneself to the other who has the same talent as oneself…

we are all raised in a way that our parents think that’s the best way possible. you were their gift and they ripped it the way they wanted. never compare yourself from any other person, don’t ever think it was your parents fault that you are like that, its God’s plan you to be like that…

Bless Up

Emitty.

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