Category: festivity

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changes Constructive thinking life mentality and mental health season

Weight of Unintended Destruction

There are moments in life where it feels like every decision, every step forward, leaves behind nothing but chaos. The best intentions somehow spiral into missteps, and despite your deepest desire to build, nurture, or create, you’re left with the painful realization that things have fallen apart, often with others caught in the fallout.

For those who feel this way, it’s more than just a passing thought—it’s a lingering heaviness, a constant fear that despite your best efforts, you’re cursed by your own energy. This perception can be isolating, making it seem as though you’re trapped in a cycle of unintended destruction, damaging the very things you care about most.

The Struggle of Good Intentions

We’ve all heard the phrase, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” It speaks to the heart of this struggle—the idea that, despite your purest motives, the outcomes never seem to match the effort. You meant to help, but your words came out wrong. You tried to connect, but only created distance. You set out to fix something, but somehow made it worse. This disconnect between intention and outcome can feel disheartening, and over time, it fosters self-doubt.

When the gap between what you aim to do and what actually happens becomes a pattern, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and even shame. You start to question whether you’re inherently flawed, whether the things that go wrong are a reflection of who you are at your core. It’s a vicious cycle: the more you try to make things right, the more it feels like they go wrong.

Self-sabotage or Unconscious Patterns?

Sometimes, what feels like a curse is actually a result of unconscious patterns of behavior. We may be unaware of how certain habits, reactions, or insecurities contribute to the outcomes we fear most. If you feel like everything you touch falls apart, it could be worth examining the dynamics at play in these situations. Are there repeating patterns of communication breakdown? Are you inadvertently taking on too much, overcommitting, or neglecting to set boundaries?

Recognizing these patterns is crucial in understanding that it’s not necessarily a personal failing or “curse” but a series of habits or circumstances that can be changed. The first step to breaking free from this cycle is acknowledging that your actions, while well-intended, may need recalibration.

The Emotional Toll of Unintended Harm

When you believe that your actions continually result in harm, it can be emotionally exhausting. The weight of unintentional destruction can lead to withdrawing from relationships or opportunities, out of fear of repeating the same mistakes. You may isolate yourself to protect others from your perceived negative impact. But this only deepens the loneliness, reinforcing the belief that you are somehow dangerous to those around you.

The burden of feeling like you damage what you love often leads to internal conflict. On one hand, you crave connection, success, and peace; on the other, you fear that by pursuing these things, you might harm them. This paradox traps many in a cycle of self-doubt and retreat, believing that doing nothing is safer than risking further damage.

Breaking the Cycle

It’s important to remember that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, and sometimes, despite our best efforts, things fall apart. The key to breaking the cycle of feeling like you destroy everything you touch is compassion—compassion for yourself, and for the learning process of life. Every misstep is an opportunity for growth, and every “failure” is a chance to try again with more awareness.

Learning to forgive yourself for the things that didn’t go right is part of healing. This involves understanding that perfection is impossible, and that the hurt caused, though real, is not a reflection of who you are at your core. Mistakes don’t define you; how you respond to them does.

Rebuilding Trust in Yourself

Ultimately, the goal is to rebuild trust in your own abilities and decisions. This requires time, reflection, and often, vulnerability. It’s okay to admit when things have gone wrong, but it’s also important to allow yourself space to move forward without the baggage of past mistakes weighing you down. Surround yourself with people who understand your intentions, even when things don’t go as planned, and seek out opportunities to practice self-compassion.

Most importantly, remember that no one is “cursed.” We all struggle with finding the right balance between intention and outcome. With patience and self-awareness, you can start to see that your actions aren’t doomed to fail—you’re simply in the process of learning, like everyone else. And through that process, you can reclaim the ability to touch things not with fear, but with hope.

Categories
Constructive thinking knowledge life mentality and mental health season

A Lil Island

Off the coast of Nova Scotia, Canada, lies a small island known as Oak Island. This unassuming piece of land has been the center of one of the most enduring mysteries in maritime history – the legend of the Money Pit.

According to the tale, in the late 18th century, three young boys discovered a peculiar depression on the island’s surface. Intrigued, they began to dig, and as they delved deeper, they encountered layers of logs and stone markers, leading them to believe that they were on the trail of a buried treasure.

Over the centuries, numerous treasure hunters, including famed explorers and engineers, have attempted to unearth the supposed riches, only to be met with a series of ingenious traps and elaborate flood tunnels. Despite the relentless efforts and significant excavations, the treasure, if it indeed exists, remains tantalizingly out of reach.

The mystery of Oak Island’s Money Pit has sparked the imagination of explorers and enthusiasts for generations, with theories ranging from hidden pirate loot to ancient manuscripts or even connections to the Holy Grail. To this day, the island continues to lure adventurous souls in pursuit of the elusive fortune, making it a captivating and enigmatic chapter in the annals of island lore.

Back to the real concept now, In  life we create a little island, were we isolate ourselves with what goes around us , we just want the noise to be finally over for a short period of time. Not fully shut but just for until we manage to work our way around things.

We set boundaries, standards and guidelines to point out the dos and donts just in order to buy ourselves time to get our shit straight.

See the boundaries and the artifical island ain’t perfect and to some they may feel like we are selfish and we are anti social never knowing what’s really going on..

To some they are well aware of what’s going on and why there is an island but they are the ones who want to take a boat and come this side, sometimes it’s a good trip but some times it’s for a bad cause to just Lower the gap between the waters and the land.

The problem that arise in our lives create isolation and the isolation is the island, we have different ways of accepting the problem at hand. We accept and draw a way to proceed with tackling the problem.

But to others our ways of solving them may be Alittle kinda different from how they will normally tackle it, and this gap between our way of doing versus the way they will do its what causes conflicts and causing us to dry our islands dry. The words spoken cause us to lower our beliefs on solving our problems in our own ways.

Don’t get it twisted, but there’s power in collaborative problem solving and also there is power in adaptive and solo problem solving, see sometimes problems come our way not to be collaboratively solved.

There is a verse from the Good book that says, when temptations come our way, are within our abilities to be solved by us, this statement alone may help when we’re facing problems only when we believe in it .

With problems comes solutions, with solutions comes experiences and with experience comes sucess, let not your way of dealing with problems be messed up just by the words, action or somebody else’s way of solving problems.

Bless up
Emitty …

Categories
changes Constructive thinking knowledge life mentality and mental health season

GROWING UP

It was early this morning when I went to this School asking about admitting a new student for the new academic year. They explained to me everything and told m what is required and what the kid is supposed to do before going to School. And I was done there. I Left and went to take care of some issues. On my way back home came this picture in my mind. Taking the kid to school and starts crying when I am about to leave her there. This took me back to the years when my dad or mom or the house helper used to take me to school and when we reached at school,the moment they start saying goodbye I used to cry a lot that at times they get to sit outside my class for a while for me to Know that the are still there and after a while when am calm they get to leave. When I turn to look at the window and don’t see them I start crying again. It has always been that way until I got used to school.

From this I came up with this

Sometimes, growing requires you to be left alone so as you can learn how to stand on your own and get to move and grow bigger and better

Even tho it will lead you to shade tears but in the end you’ll need to get used to that and stand and just keep going

As days keep going you’ll get used to the environment and find it fine and you’ll get to grow wider wanting to have more and achieve more. After you done with one thing you’d want to go on with another and get better and better, just like when we were still young and wished to get to certain levels of education and we got there and still want to go further

So yeah, the process’ never easy but in the end we still have to get where we want to be

Bless up

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Constructive thinking knowledge life mentality and mental health season

Defined

School life has never been easy to some of us if not all of us,to the rest of us school has been a battleground constantly fighting. Whether for grades or social bonding, it was and still is a fight.

Well the true fight comes on mastering your lecturer or teacher, his or her approaches the likes and the dislikes that’s where things becomes hasty..

Well a short story was, and I know this is common having that one teacher each semester wanting you answering questions just has s/he has teacher a line by line word to word..

Well if he defined something as A you can’t write it as small “a” and expecting to score a mark from him or her. Inorder to pass his or her module we have to abide and go a word to word with what s/he has offered.

In life we face similar situations, I call it playing dumb, we tend to know what’s right and what’s not right but we still find ourselves living line by line and word to word.

In parallel with their definition of what we are, what we should be and even what we should do and how we should behave, and we find it okay thinking that we can’t do anything about it even if we try..

We are scared to break toxic routine just because of what has been predefined on us by others. Well am not a teacher or lecturer to tell you that you need to overcome that.

But just know even in school the best things or knowledge that sticks out in our mind is always the one that we have defined ourselves .

So it’s easier to make a further step forward with our own definition of routine, what we are, who we are and where we are going and at what pace we are moving. We have to refine the definition that are set on us…

Bless up
Emitty

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life season

Grieve

(To all soldiers rested after fighting a great war called life, we pray in one form and firm belief that you rest peacefully and the ways that you have shown us through the way you have lived, we shall live in accordance and just as the way you’ve shown it to us..)

Is it safe to say we differ interms of how we handle things? Whether it’s a good thing or bad thing we must differ.

Why? Simply is because feelings are felt and its just a state that we clearly have to differ in how we react.

A person being sad, or crying or even laughing in a grieving season that doesn’t mean the one who is laughing is not grieving. Or the one crying is the one with the most loss. Or the one sad is the neutrality.

As a fact, before any person can show emotion its by default interpreted by the brain and then  the outward expression is given. So sad news can come and a positive energy.

A person laughing its doesn’t mean s/he doesn’t feel the grieve but maybe the interpretation has brought some good memories worthy to be remembered and s/he smiles because it means they once enjoyed the moment.

A person can also cry because the interpretation has come with the memory is hard to replace the void created or the source of happiness is gone and it will take time to heal.

Same as all other things in life, we have to agree that we differ in interpretation, and hence we should stop comparison against each other, and just be ourselves .

In remembrance
Paschal Otto Bundala & other rested soldiers
(1974 – 2022)

Signed Emitty.

Categories
Constructive thinking life mentality and mental health season

let bygones be bygones

Hello there it’s been quite sometime now. Today, I woke up in the morning and felt like i should share this with you.

you know there are times that we get to put ourselves behind bars without knowing and end up hurting ourselves from time to time it’s just because we don’t learn to let go

what is the point of feeling sorry or missing somebody or something that by the time it brought you pain or hindered you from being somebody or taking a step forward. We sometimes need to close our eyes and be merciless and just respect the decisions we firstly made and keep on moving. Coz am pretty sure the very day you decided to let such people or things go you were in your good senses. So yeah let’s just take a pin and pin it there and leave it that way. We need not to suffer we need to torture ourselves and be like “oh dear, this person or maybe like let me try check on him or her probably he or she is okay” nah uh nah uh i really don’t support that. Coz yhe moment you get to look for that person, you returning back the bond you once had and trust me this time round it will be so hard for you to break it and let go and you’ll find it fine but as days go you be like I wish I’d not look for this person. So rather than regretting the act of going back and look for them just because you miss the or maybe you ask yourself what or how they’d be doing, you better let it be a bygone and get to move on. You won’t loose but maybe you might gain more than when you had those people or things around you.

So yeah let bygones be bygones, don’t entertain bringing back what you once wanted to loose.

bless up

Categories
changes Constructive thinking knowledge life season

Pushin’ it

Don’t recall what game was it called but it involved a moving cart on unorganised railway where the goal of the player is to reach far but making sure there are no gaps in which it may lead the cart to fall due to unconnected rails.

Accuracy is at question in the game and also the quickness recover from mistake before the cart reaches the unconnected rail and falls off.

Ofcourse in the end of the game there rewards, and from this because its a mini game the rewards helps out with the main game. (Shout out goes to the TOWNSHIP games creators available on playstore)

Now see in life its all about extra forces, I know many ain’t believers but I know some forces are beyond our abilities to comprehend. We may be pushing on our side but deeply outside some process outside are the ones pushing. We may have all the necessary motives to push infront but our timing maybe not perfect and we may fail.

See when we started RTF back then, it was just after we were done with our first semester in university,  the founders were the same friend we had back since form one in our ordinary level education but we didn’t start it until we were done with our o level and A-level education.

It’s possible that we could have started it earlier but the timing would never favour us to spread out to the inches that we have covered till now.

Many of us think that things just happen, but in reality everything and each step taken gives us a more significant effect on the long run, this is because of some forces are set when we push right.

So in time of planning, never worry to start again just because of  a simple failure sometimes the bigger picture needs you to push the idea at the right time.

I’m no guru to know how to do the perfect timing but you should believe in timing. Time will always tell, with time all things fall in place.

Bless up
Emitty

Categories
changes Constructive thinking knowledge mentality and mental health season

Purposely Placed

I don’t know how to put this but before, when what I was seeking was social approval, instant gratification and peace from people around, life was tough, how?

Before we head there, ” let me place this what determines your peace determines your sadness and your level of disappointment – Pst Steven Furtick” In simple words where you place your happiness is where disappointment happens and also source of problems.

If it go cost my peace its an expensive shit don’t disturb me please ( I don’t know if I have captured it fresh but its from Adekunle Gold)

Back to the main story, I was easily moved to different spots, I used the same methods as they used some people before me to be gratify by the society or approved. I was so in pain when a person could outbeat me in something and I was super competitive just to be seen I’m present. I would have do anything just to be seen in a room full of People.

But have come to realise that when you’re not place to do something you’ll never find peace in what you do, disappointments will always be your portion.

Am I there yet no, why am I sharing then if am not there it’s just have come to learn you have to be open, to know that what you will always do no matter what scale it’s there will be a person doing bigger than you but yours is unique just because its done by you.

Never compare you with someone else and just know the aim of you is to have peace inside and not social gratification, that’s the main key keep that.

For there is a great reward in what you do alone and satisfied from inside than what you do and satisfy the societies around us. There is a great cost to satisfy a society than to satisfy yourself

Bless Up
Emitty

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graduate's depression knowledge life mentality and mental health season

Chillax,Graduate (parte v)

Will start today’s article with my all time fave hindi movie namely three idiots, when the imperial college principle was addressing the students, he said life is a race, you either run or get squashed.

That statement applies to us but for today am not talking about running and talking about tolerance, life is a race yea but if you live in daressalaam you it’s not a race. This is because there will always be a traffic jam some place always.

Am not from there but we usually see and hear of traffic jams and so on. So in traffic jams is where I would like to set my theme for today’s title tolerance. In life is not all about running but it’s about maintaining pace between what you had, who you are and who you want to be.

See the same person has a past, present and future now tolerance is how you live now with learnt experience of the past making or creating a better future that’s tolerance.

Am not conflict with the one who said the past is past or bygones be bygones what am saying is that let all the past be a learnt experience which will help you make moves today that are not from scratch but from a reference that will help you reach point in the future.

In a traffic jam there is always a slow/gradual movement towards the common place, in life that’s how we are some people maybe going fast in the route and you going slow it doesn’t matter what matters is your tolerance to wait to finish because even after the jam what’s next is a smooth ride to compensate wasted time…

Learn to take time and tolerate what is thrown at you..

Bless up
Emitty..

Categories
graduate's depression knowledge mentality and mental health season

Chillax,Graduate (Parte IV)

With reference to simba vs yanga and also with reference to the article we wrote about reference. I would love to start of sending my greetings to all yanga fans for the win against the derby .

The Match has shown so much that I can use for the part IV the comparison. See there were some expectations that the team itself am talking about simba set or already had against yanga and yanga too. The people that are the fans had already set there expectations.

Am not a football fan to say much but I want you to move with something from the match, before the match there is always a H2H count. That is a head to head count against the two teams, and this is a comparison for what the teams have been lately prior to the match .

Comparison that’s what its today, we’ll talk about comparison and last article we saw there are three types of comparisons and I would love to state one by one today …

The comparison based on the walkthrough title graduate depression…

Comparison set by the society against you. We all have guardians or family members that always think that they know all about school and all about you, and also even our parents have always been there in the loop of knowing everything about school simply because they work hard to get us the fees. They hope that we are always aware of what they go through and the only way to repay them is by us having a good life .

See they set an expectation between what they know and what we are, it’s super hard breaking this and if we are to give much thinking to this it’s a problem, we all fight against secret battles.

There is this feeling that when you are some how young and your parents have a point to compare you with it maybe a sibling or a relative that’s either the same point of academics as you or ahead of you a little, there is that atmosphere of where you are always behind in terms of performance and they have set that you have to be either like them or better than them, that situation eats up alot of as in terms of academics

The way through it is that life is yours its either you create your standards or someone else creates them for you. It’s simple as that.

Comparison of you against somebody else, after seeing the set by our guardians to us then there is what we so call standards when we set standard we can place a person as a role model but that role model may be a potential help but also a problem because if the difference between them and you if positively then you advance but if not then you are in problem of comparing you against them..

If you’re pursuing academic or doing anything never set your goals to outrun or beat something against somebody else. Swahili saying ” mhuni afeli anachelewa tu kufaulu ” we are always just late to succeed but we never fail. That’s us life to us. After you’re done it may take time to win but never ever compare yourself from somebody else.

You may be running the same race but that’s not the guarantee you have to move with them every move.

We can’t move if we move by beef or comparison that’s the easiest life principle but we fail to understand that. Always be you never compare yourself to others…

Comparison of beliefs, this is my personal favourite you can outrun the comparison your guardians have placed against you, you can outrun your standards you place your self against people but its very hard to outrun your beliefs

The funny thing about beliefs is that you think them throughly then it becomes your routine through the manifestation of it in the outside. Now that’s not a bad thing.

It will be a bad thing when your standards are tested to a limit they need to be broken, when you set something inside your mind gives you a certain vibe but when you’re in a conflict of interest to fight it or to let it go, that eats you up. So always be careful of what standards you put for yourself..

Coming parte V: tolerance, how to fight against your own standards and how to balance as world claws it off on you?

Bless up
Emitty

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