Tag: attitude

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changes Constructive thinking life mentality and mental health season

Weight of Unintended Destruction

There are moments in life where it feels like every decision, every step forward, leaves behind nothing but chaos. The best intentions somehow spiral into missteps, and despite your deepest desire to build, nurture, or create, you’re left with the painful realization that things have fallen apart, often with others caught in the fallout.

For those who feel this way, it’s more than just a passing thought—it’s a lingering heaviness, a constant fear that despite your best efforts, you’re cursed by your own energy. This perception can be isolating, making it seem as though you’re trapped in a cycle of unintended destruction, damaging the very things you care about most.

The Struggle of Good Intentions

We’ve all heard the phrase, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” It speaks to the heart of this struggle—the idea that, despite your purest motives, the outcomes never seem to match the effort. You meant to help, but your words came out wrong. You tried to connect, but only created distance. You set out to fix something, but somehow made it worse. This disconnect between intention and outcome can feel disheartening, and over time, it fosters self-doubt.

When the gap between what you aim to do and what actually happens becomes a pattern, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and even shame. You start to question whether you’re inherently flawed, whether the things that go wrong are a reflection of who you are at your core. It’s a vicious cycle: the more you try to make things right, the more it feels like they go wrong.

Self-sabotage or Unconscious Patterns?

Sometimes, what feels like a curse is actually a result of unconscious patterns of behavior. We may be unaware of how certain habits, reactions, or insecurities contribute to the outcomes we fear most. If you feel like everything you touch falls apart, it could be worth examining the dynamics at play in these situations. Are there repeating patterns of communication breakdown? Are you inadvertently taking on too much, overcommitting, or neglecting to set boundaries?

Recognizing these patterns is crucial in understanding that it’s not necessarily a personal failing or “curse” but a series of habits or circumstances that can be changed. The first step to breaking free from this cycle is acknowledging that your actions, while well-intended, may need recalibration.

The Emotional Toll of Unintended Harm

When you believe that your actions continually result in harm, it can be emotionally exhausting. The weight of unintentional destruction can lead to withdrawing from relationships or opportunities, out of fear of repeating the same mistakes. You may isolate yourself to protect others from your perceived negative impact. But this only deepens the loneliness, reinforcing the belief that you are somehow dangerous to those around you.

The burden of feeling like you damage what you love often leads to internal conflict. On one hand, you crave connection, success, and peace; on the other, you fear that by pursuing these things, you might harm them. This paradox traps many in a cycle of self-doubt and retreat, believing that doing nothing is safer than risking further damage.

Breaking the Cycle

It’s important to remember that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, and sometimes, despite our best efforts, things fall apart. The key to breaking the cycle of feeling like you destroy everything you touch is compassion—compassion for yourself, and for the learning process of life. Every misstep is an opportunity for growth, and every “failure” is a chance to try again with more awareness.

Learning to forgive yourself for the things that didn’t go right is part of healing. This involves understanding that perfection is impossible, and that the hurt caused, though real, is not a reflection of who you are at your core. Mistakes don’t define you; how you respond to them does.

Rebuilding Trust in Yourself

Ultimately, the goal is to rebuild trust in your own abilities and decisions. This requires time, reflection, and often, vulnerability. It’s okay to admit when things have gone wrong, but it’s also important to allow yourself space to move forward without the baggage of past mistakes weighing you down. Surround yourself with people who understand your intentions, even when things don’t go as planned, and seek out opportunities to practice self-compassion.

Most importantly, remember that no one is “cursed.” We all struggle with finding the right balance between intention and outcome. With patience and self-awareness, you can start to see that your actions aren’t doomed to fail—you’re simply in the process of learning, like everyone else. And through that process, you can reclaim the ability to touch things not with fear, but with hope.

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Constructive thinking knowledge life mentality and mental health season

A Lil Island

Off the coast of Nova Scotia, Canada, lies a small island known as Oak Island. This unassuming piece of land has been the center of one of the most enduring mysteries in maritime history – the legend of the Money Pit.

According to the tale, in the late 18th century, three young boys discovered a peculiar depression on the island’s surface. Intrigued, they began to dig, and as they delved deeper, they encountered layers of logs and stone markers, leading them to believe that they were on the trail of a buried treasure.

Over the centuries, numerous treasure hunters, including famed explorers and engineers, have attempted to unearth the supposed riches, only to be met with a series of ingenious traps and elaborate flood tunnels. Despite the relentless efforts and significant excavations, the treasure, if it indeed exists, remains tantalizingly out of reach.

The mystery of Oak Island’s Money Pit has sparked the imagination of explorers and enthusiasts for generations, with theories ranging from hidden pirate loot to ancient manuscripts or even connections to the Holy Grail. To this day, the island continues to lure adventurous souls in pursuit of the elusive fortune, making it a captivating and enigmatic chapter in the annals of island lore.

Back to the real concept now, In  life we create a little island, were we isolate ourselves with what goes around us , we just want the noise to be finally over for a short period of time. Not fully shut but just for until we manage to work our way around things.

We set boundaries, standards and guidelines to point out the dos and donts just in order to buy ourselves time to get our shit straight.

See the boundaries and the artifical island ain’t perfect and to some they may feel like we are selfish and we are anti social never knowing what’s really going on..

To some they are well aware of what’s going on and why there is an island but they are the ones who want to take a boat and come this side, sometimes it’s a good trip but some times it’s for a bad cause to just Lower the gap between the waters and the land.

The problem that arise in our lives create isolation and the isolation is the island, we have different ways of accepting the problem at hand. We accept and draw a way to proceed with tackling the problem.

But to others our ways of solving them may be Alittle kinda different from how they will normally tackle it, and this gap between our way of doing versus the way they will do its what causes conflicts and causing us to dry our islands dry. The words spoken cause us to lower our beliefs on solving our problems in our own ways.

Don’t get it twisted, but there’s power in collaborative problem solving and also there is power in adaptive and solo problem solving, see sometimes problems come our way not to be collaboratively solved.

There is a verse from the Good book that says, when temptations come our way, are within our abilities to be solved by us, this statement alone may help when we’re facing problems only when we believe in it .

With problems comes solutions, with solutions comes experiences and with experience comes sucess, let not your way of dealing with problems be messed up just by the words, action or somebody else’s way of solving problems.

Bless up
Emitty …

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changes Constructive thinking knowledge life mentality and mental health season

GROWING UP

It was early this morning when I went to this School asking about admitting a new student for the new academic year. They explained to me everything and told m what is required and what the kid is supposed to do before going to School. And I was done there. I Left and went to take care of some issues. On my way back home came this picture in my mind. Taking the kid to school and starts crying when I am about to leave her there. This took me back to the years when my dad or mom or the house helper used to take me to school and when we reached at school,the moment they start saying goodbye I used to cry a lot that at times they get to sit outside my class for a while for me to Know that the are still there and after a while when am calm they get to leave. When I turn to look at the window and don’t see them I start crying again. It has always been that way until I got used to school.

From this I came up with this

Sometimes, growing requires you to be left alone so as you can learn how to stand on your own and get to move and grow bigger and better

Even tho it will lead you to shade tears but in the end you’ll need to get used to that and stand and just keep going

As days keep going you’ll get used to the environment and find it fine and you’ll get to grow wider wanting to have more and achieve more. After you done with one thing you’d want to go on with another and get better and better, just like when we were still young and wished to get to certain levels of education and we got there and still want to go further

So yeah, the process’ never easy but in the end we still have to get where we want to be

Bless up

Categories
changes Constructive thinking knowledge life mentality and mental health

Life = love + life

The Life, Love, and Leveling Up of an individuals
For most of us, it’s no secret that love conquers all. It makes life worth living—and it even lights up those dark corners of our hearts. But for those who are experiencing a difficult time in their relationship, the difficulties might be just what the doctor ordered — and not the end of the world. The truth is, most relationships don’t pan out as planned. And for those who do have a successful outcome, it’s often because they weren’t meant to be. In this article, we explore the six pillars of love: what they are and how to cultivate them in your life.

What is love?
Simply put, love is a feeling. It’s not a word, a concept, or even a thought. It’s an action. And the action is to connect with the one you love, no matter who that person is — whether that person is your spouse, your best friend, or your colleague. It’s to make space for them in your heart, mind, and calendar.

How to have love
To have love, you must have love. That’s it. That’s the entire situation. You don’t have to do anything else. It doesn’t matter if you spend your free time alone or with a partner — the very fact that you’re connected to another person makes you feel love.

Why do people have love?
There are two main factors that lead to the development of love. The first is mutual respect for one another. This is the foundation of any relationship. If someone doesn’t respect you — or, at the very least, doesn’t seem to appreciate what you have — then there’s no chance in hell of having love.

How to cultivate it in your life
There are a few ways to get your heart rate pumping and your mind thinking like an individual. It starts by choosing to love yourself first. Once you’ve validated that you are healthy and happy — then, it’s on to the question of how to love your partner. Here are a few ways to start: Express your love for yourself. Create a photo album with your love for yourself. Share it with anyone who’ll listen. Get involved in extracurricular activities or charitable causes that support your interests. Whatever it takes, make yourself happy. Improve your relationship with your partner. Spend more time together; read, write, and interact with each other; be more sensitive to one another’s needs; and show up more as a team.

Bottom line
Now that you’ve explored the six pillars of love, what are you waiting for? Start being you! When someone doesn’t love you back, it automatically suggests that they don’t want to be with you. That means it — and the challenges that come with it — are real. You’re not alone. The people in your life who struggle are the ones who need to connect with themselves and validate that they love themselves. Keep in mind that it’s okay to be imperfect — because being imperfect is who you are. And while you may feel bad for the way that you feel sometimes, it doesn’t mean that you have to put up with unfair or negative treatment from other people. In fact, that kind of behavior towards others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-blame. So, instead of feeling shame or shamefacedness, just realize that you’re just naturally attracted to those who you think have what you want in life — and who you think you can please. The more you connect with yourself and validate that you love yourself, the easier it will be for you to connect with your partner. Eventually, something will grow between you two and you’ll know you’re meant to be together.

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changes Constructive thinking knowledge life mentality and mental health

Build or Break

build (/bɪld/)
construct (something) by putting parts or material together.

Similar: construct, erect, put up, assemble, set up, raise, make, fabricate, form, manufacture, create, fashion, model, mould, shape, forge, knock together

Opposite: demolish, destroy,

make stronger or more intense.
“we built up confidence in our abilities”

Similar: boost, strengthen, increase, improve, invigorate, augment, raise, intensify, enhance, escalate, multiply, swell, beef up

the proportions of a person’s or animal’s body.
“she was of medium height and slim build”

Similar: physique, frame, body, figure,form, structure, shape, make-up, formation

All the above is inspired by a line of statement on a very good lovely friend I have, build or break that she wrote on her timeline.

In life we get alot of things that troubles us, I can share what I go through or even If we had a dialogue of what you going through honestly without any secrecy,I know I’ll hear alot from you.

Let’s not talk about that but what you go through can either BUILD or BREAK.

In college, there is an allowance offered by the government to students and most of the students are given the same amount of money for the whole semester. The money comes into two portion.

Most of us we are facing the financial balance difficulties but what makes us going is the fact that there is next time in two months and you’ll get money.

The situation of waiting builds  most of us into a stage of planning and placing of budget so that when the money comes it will be effectively. That’s to most of us

But in life everything may be off balance and everything hitting you may seem new to you and you thinking that everything is after you to break you..

Financial problems, health issues, social troubles,spiritual difficulties and many more these are many in the list of things that can really question  your mentality and make you feel broken. 

They say anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, that’s what we should take out of any situation, we are here not for a smooth life, but to be tested and to know our limits.

Inorder to live and reach the point to know our capabilities we have to undergo the processes that will break us into ways we can’t even understand, but it’s in these situations we learn to build ourselves up better and stronger.

The good book says, no challenge comes to you too heavy for you to handle,  and through every challenge there is an exit. We need to build ourselves through challenges.

For the challenges are there to stay, they can’t go away all by them selves but through solving them. Just like building a LEGO one block at a time, so is the same as tackling challenges one problem at a time..

Bless up
Emitty…

Categories
Constructive thinking knowledge life mentality and mental health

who will stand

We living in a world where we get to hear new things been invented everyday a world where people don’t like to seem out of date a world where technology has taken much of everything a world we really don’t know this is ending a world where people get to live life forgetting that there are children to stand for in time to come

have you sit down and ask yourself one day that “WHAT PARENT WILL I MAKE?”

one day when I was in the sitting room was talking to my mom and she told me “you have to live in peace with your siblings,love them take good care of them, you are like a mother to them when am gone there eyes will be on you so you need to he good too and strong and a person who sees beyond”, these words made me think of something, probably you who is reading this you are a parent already or maybe parent to be or maybe you in plans of becoming one this is for you. So my thought were,

i am where I am now because my mom stood for me, prayed for me taught be and raised me by the Bible’s words. She never got tired praying, kneeling and crying just to pray for m, she never stopped talking and yelling and warn me by the word that this is bad and that this stop that do this don’t do that to become a better person. And here I am now it’s not by my own strength nor will but the prayers that I was prayed for and the teaching I was raised by . Now let’s get back to today, the lives we living the way things go, are we really in position to be better parents for them who are coming? It’s terrifying really, most of parents right now got no time with their children most of parents right now are too much into social media and all that technology has brought forgetting that they need time to stay with their children and teach them and warn them to make them good later. Nowadays a kid do something wrong and a parent will just take a look at him or her and be like “ah that’s how the kid is” really!! Are you just gonna stand and watch yo kid going astray and have nothing to do for him or her ?

What generation are making or are going to make, who will stand for them if only we can’t even stand for us, Let it not reach the time in the Bible where it will come a generation which won’t know God. Parents, parents to be and the upcoming we have to look out our ways we have to remember how we were raised not just because it’s a globalized world then we forget all about how we were taught and raised, yes there are things or ways used that were not appropriate just see how you can modify and help your child or children. We need to stand for them to be better, better than us.

If we won’t stand for them who will?

Bless up

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changes knowledge life mentality and mental health

Our Escape

Well the dictionary define escape as a narrow run or temporary displacement or distraction from a routine or reality.

The definition had something that caught my eye, the words such as temporary, distraction and reality.

We tend to search for escapes because of our temporary situation in life, and life can be a constituent of many things from social interaction to the mind of one self. Our economy, social life, spirituality, mentality, health and even a balance of all these can be what we call life..

Escape is temporary just as noted from the definition before, reason to create escape can vary but alot of people are in search of escape to get a way to numb pain, and the pain is mostly caused by over expectations.

See in life we tend to expect alot from people or even actions that we do. We expect fast money so we engage in illegal businesses to make quick money and we end up disappointed for a reason or two. We are always constantly putting overwhelming hopes forward and casting out reality in the name of faith.

Don’t quote me wrong, faith is a good thing but don’t disguise instant gratification or any thing related to fastering the process as faith, TRUST THE PROCESS they say but people don’t do that, the say maybe the process should start trusting their ways.

A failure to quit running towards escape will lead to addiction, and we all know what addictions do to a person. And there is no such thing as a good or bad addictions.

Addictions are addictions and people tend to color coat it because they are temporary pleasures that leads to an escape of reality..

Once posted it on our team timeline ” what’s your escape ?” And the response were alot, but people are troubled with alot that we have to agree to, but some problem they are not really a running problem, some problem are to be faced, but it’s easy to think on running more than thinking of facing it..

On a advisory scale, problems will constantly seem to add up and piling up problems will not be the solution. We have to fight our problems, the escape to our problems  doesn’t solve the problems they just forward them. So we are not running away from them we are just forwarding them…

Bless Up
Emitty

Categories
changes Constructive thinking knowledge life mentality and mental health

Give it

Being in a world where every day the technology increase and the demand on the market is portable and slim designs in everything made.

There are always problems and the problems present needs solutions we all have to agree on that, if you can solve a problem then you make profit.

Technology, men that’s broad and that’s hard to explain. But all things that place in the tech industry are all made from observation made from the environment that is around us.

Let’s take an example of problems and the lesson drawn from it, have a file that you wanna send it from one computer to another the reasonable way its just to send using the flash drive or the ethernet and many more others.

The lesson drawn from all that is sharing. Well that’s not hard to define because it is more of a move of anything from one point to another, just its the movement.

The movement is not hard to define but the action is different its easy for us human beings to make demands that somethings have to be shared. But we can’t share what we have .

But people do share, and from a technical point of view there are alot of ways that define the way we share things.

Usb sharing: for the IT personnel this is a method of sharing and it’s grouped into one to multipoint. A single file in one computer can be placed inside a flash drive to be shared across many computers.

People’s way of sharing can be like a usb, we acquire what we want to share from one place and then share at a time. The problem is that this sharing needs alittle bit of patience. Since you need to share with one entity at a time and also the ability is limited, some people ability of receiving is limited and hence the sharing capabilities too.

Extension cable sharing: this is more of my a bridge it taps to a source or point and according to its slots it can then allow other devices to tap in a get power. Also it’s a bridge and can also act as a source to create another bridge

So this method Is mostly needed in the community but it’s not always there, people tend to receive first then give, which is a good thing but we have to understand that when you give you get a room to recieve it’s a basic math.. as you get you give is equals to a room empty available for receiving.

We have to learn and unlearn all about sharing its not a must to give interms of financial or material wise but also we can give the intangible things a smile, time love and alot of other things.

Someone cant reach everyone, but everyone can reach someone. We need to be more of an extension cable rather than a flash drive kinda people…

Bless up
Emitty

Categories
changes Constructive thinking knowledge mentality and mental health season

Purposely Placed

I don’t know how to put this but before, when what I was seeking was social approval, instant gratification and peace from people around, life was tough, how?

Before we head there, ” let me place this what determines your peace determines your sadness and your level of disappointment – Pst Steven Furtick” In simple words where you place your happiness is where disappointment happens and also source of problems.

If it go cost my peace its an expensive shit don’t disturb me please ( I don’t know if I have captured it fresh but its from Adekunle Gold)

Back to the main story, I was easily moved to different spots, I used the same methods as they used some people before me to be gratify by the society or approved. I was so in pain when a person could outbeat me in something and I was super competitive just to be seen I’m present. I would have do anything just to be seen in a room full of People.

But have come to realise that when you’re not place to do something you’ll never find peace in what you do, disappointments will always be your portion.

Am I there yet no, why am I sharing then if am not there it’s just have come to learn you have to be open, to know that what you will always do no matter what scale it’s there will be a person doing bigger than you but yours is unique just because its done by you.

Never compare you with someone else and just know the aim of you is to have peace inside and not social gratification, that’s the main key keep that.

For there is a great reward in what you do alone and satisfied from inside than what you do and satisfy the societies around us. There is a great cost to satisfy a society than to satisfy yourself

Bless Up
Emitty

Categories
changes Constructive thinking knowledge life mentality and mental health

As He teaches

Back in my primary school I remember my grammar school teacher usually had us Energize with some opposites of words.

He would have the class stand up and pick one at random then he starts by saying you what is the opposite of this and that and you’ll earn a seat when you answer the questions

Well back then we hated it and we usually didn’t raise our hands to answer the questions hoping the teacher will get bored and run out of words to ask us. But ooh boy that man had stamina he was always on the clock and he had alot of words for us to answer

So right now I don’t use any opposite in my life or neither do i use the grammar 100% but what I know today i can reflect in alot of lessons that can be derived from the quick stand up.

Some notable guidelines to some lessons are as follow.
1. Expecting the teacher to come and ask questions. See in life we are always in a surprise mode, but so far people are in a stage they even say for the point that life has thrown so much shades on me I can’t be surprised no more. This is not that s/he has gone through it all but it’s that s/he has gone through alot . Alot people of have a hidden story to tell. And all the stories mah all have a same beginning “it was out of no were, I didn’t plan this or I didn’t plan that but it happens and till it happens like that it means that if you didn’t plan for it then you had a different plan and that the opposite happened…
2. Our response some early they raise their hands but some of us we dont. The early response are similar to the way we live our lives some opportunities are randomly popin up always but its some few that make that fast decision and others will take time to take them but others will not take the opportunities at all that’s life. We waited for the teacher but some of us had already sat down earlier…
3. Hope and expectation for him to get bored. I really dont know if this has ever hit you up, you starting feeling a little left out want to life just pass you by, feeling like you’re the only one alone in this whole life passing a certain situation and life cant Get any worse than it was. You hope life will get bored and start being nice to you? If you’re in this just know life never get bored throwing shade its just mother nature making us hard and resilient to its methods.
4. Stamina for his consistency,life will always show you consistency more and more and it will always disappoint us, so life has the teacher’s consistency to throw shades. There is a trending statement good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people that’s nature the way to build the boldness out of ourselves.
5. Answers given. Whether we were asked the first round or last every question that the teacher had asked had answers so as life no matter what you going through, nonmatter tough,easy, crazy, logical or illogical then just know, no matter what time is threw at you it has an answer..
6. Topic on the table. The teacher had always had a particular theme he used while asking a question and we would have to tune ourselves into answering the particular theme that was very easy simply because the questions were easily predictable after the theme was known. So in life trying figure what wave to flow with in times of your greatest conflict..

I was told a good teacher teaches how the real world works on his lessons without even saying so, and by reflecting this it has clearly shown me that the teacher planted something positive in the lessons he taught..

Bless up
Emitty

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